To all of you who sent your love and thoughts and memories of Toro, you have our undying gratitude and friendship.  This is just a very small selection of the wonderful emails and letters we received as well as some of the posts on the Performance AB Playground.
Knowing how much Toro effected not only us at Topline and our extended Topline family,
but the entire AB community was a great comfort to us.
For the donations to the WABA trophy fund and to the animal shelters, we thank you as well, for there is no more honorable way to pay tribute to our amazing Toro.
 

Performance American Bulldog Playground

If Only
If Only I hadn’t been so impressed by your big brothers Ivan and Mac and awestricken by your father Turbo,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have looked so forward to the day of your birth.
But I was.

If Only Alan hadn’t been so kind and generous to let me have you without any money to pay,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have found a way to take you home with me.
But he was.

If Only you had been a different puppy, one with no personality or drive or one that didn’t tell me from the very first day how much we were going to learn together,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have been overjoyed at the sight of you.
But you weren’t.

If Only you hadn’t won that first show and kept winning at every show after,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have known how beautiful you were.
But you did.

If Only you had tucked your tail, looked the other way or been anything but on fire that first time you saw a puppy tug,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have known what an amazing working dog you were going to be.
But you didn’t.

If Only you weren’t so affectionate so that I could categorize you as my working dog and nothing more,
Then maybe today would be just another day.
But you were.

If Only you were scared of one thing in your life,
Then maybe I wouldn’t have been so devastated by how scared you were yesterday.
But you weren’t.

If Only you had not been so protective of myself and Rick and our kids,
Then maybe my family wouldn’t be sobbing right now.
But you were.

If Only you hadn’t made such beautiful babies,
Then maybe I wouldn’t know how much of a loss this is to future generations of American Bulldogs.
But you did.

If Only I had a harder heart, one that didn’t love you so much,
Then maybe I could think about taking another breath without you by my side.
But I don’t.

If Only we hadn’t worked you yesterday,
Then you would still be my joy today,
But we did.

If Only you had shown a sign you were in trouble instead of running happily to your kennel wagging your tail as always,
Then maybe we could have gotten you cooled down sooner.
But you didn’t.

If Only you had stayed with me until ten or twelve years of age,
Then the pain would have been as great, but I'd have been able to say "he lived a full, long life".
But you were just a puppy to me.

If only you didn’t make me happy every day of your life, fill me with pride at the sight of you, teach me so much about courage, tenacity and heart and show me what it feels like to be loved by a dog that lost only one battle in his life,
Then maybe I would have you still, to hold close to my heart, to kiss on the ears and to love with everything I have.
But you did.

I’m sorry pupper. I’m so sorry. I will never forget you. I am grateful for every moment we had together and every joy we shared. I can never replace you. My love Toro, you take my heart with you. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you.
Forever,
Mommy
In Memory of The Great Toro Blanco
BST, AD, SchH BH, OB1, WP1, CD3, BST2, CGC
My baby boy.
11/23/1996 – 7/31/2001
 
 
 

Responses:

We find it impossible to put in words the sadness we feel at Toro's passing. He was truly an exceptional Bulldog and will be missed. I hope your able to take some comfort in the fact that through him you've built a "Topline family" that you can count on for love and support.
Sincerely, Lacey & Laura
o

I am sorry for your loss. i never had the privilege to meet you or your beatiful Toro. He was the perfect specimen of an American Bulldog Scott, Hybird,or Johnson. I will say a prayer for you and Toro.
o

We are so sorry for your loss, we loved Toro he was an awesome dog. we know how much he meant to you
Rick and Robin Gindoy

o

i am so sorry Eileen for your loss...I never met Toro , but was a legend in his own time and NO-ONE will ever forget him...I am here for you as are hundreds of others..
I offer my sincerest condolences and my thoughts and prayers are with you

o

Eileen,
As I sit here in disbelief and crying for your loss I want you to know my heart goes out for you, rick, and the kids. Please know if I can be of any help in this time I am here for you. Please know that toro produced two of the most wonderfully gifted, looking, and special girls in the world and they are here ready to carry on his name in pride. Im am sure I am not alone when I say those words. Toro will never be forgotten in your heart and he is blessed for that.
love always your friends,
Tracey and Che'

o

Eileen: Please remember...God is everything....or nothing at all. If and then doesnt matter. Only now matters. Toro is fine and you will be to. Its tough. God I know how tough. It wasnt your fault. I truly can feel your pain. A friend suggested this to me after I put one of my dogs down a while back..Take a piece of paper and write GOD on it, fold it up and put it in your pocket. Take it with you where ever you go. Put Toro's name on it also, so they will both be with you. It may sound silly, but it helped in my grieving process. This is all I have to offer you....I hope it helps. Peace.
o

At this difficult time he knows you loved him to the fullest. As my tears flow, I know your heart is broken, but you will feel better that he will live forever in your thoughts.

o

Eilleen, Tom and I want to say how very, very sorry we are. We had looked forward to seeing you work this wonderful dog for many years to come. You did so much with him....and loved him so very much.....and I know that he understood that. I cried for your loss today.....We will pray for your comfort.
Tom & Lynn LAURA KENNELS

o

My deepest sympathies for your tragic lose.
He was certainly a wonderful boy!

o

HE WILL BE GREATLY MISSED.
A TRUE CHAMPION.
MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY
JOSE PADRO

o

Eileen, im so sorry for your loss, Toro is a great dog, I will never forget either. When I was at the VA show with Zinger and you were Judging and Zinger was chosen best in Show that weekend, talk about proud. I also saw you with Toro in protection work and you two were all of it that day, It was alwesome to watch you guys work. I will never forget.
o

I'm so sorry about your loss. It really hit home because our Cleo looks alot like your Toro (judging from the picture), We love our Cleo like a child and don't know what we would do without her. I can not imagine what you and your family are going through right now. Please accept my deepest condolences.
Mark Smith
R.I.P. Toro!!!

o

Words cannot express the deep sense of loss I feel for Eileen. Although Toro was only on this earth for a short while, his achievements in the conformation ring, for working, and as a loved pet were, to say the least, amazing. We all can morn the loss of a Supreme Grand Dog.
JTiska and Family
o

Eileen, Toro was a very nice dog and was deserving of his wins. He was one of the nicest looking dogs I have ever seen, and the perfect example of how the hybrid dog should look.
Good luck in the future with your offspring.
Sincerely,
Chris Kelley
o

I know you don't know who we are but I have seen Toro in videos of shows and admire all of his accomplishments. I am very sorry to hear that terrible news. You are in our prayers. He will always be remembered. I am sure of that.
Your fellow bulldogger,
Yami

o

I am so sorry for your loss,I am also sorry I never got to meet your boy in person. I have met some of his offspring and they were impressive dogs

o

 Our prayers have been with you through this past entire night and into today. Please know that our hearts are breaking as well and we truly feel your pain. As we look at Torsade, we only hope that you can find some measure of comfort in realizing the great joy that you, through Toro, have brought to our lives and to so many of our friends that have the great Toro offsprings to carry on his legacy. They are Champions not only in the show ring, but in our hearts. We will always be there for you.
With our deepest and sincerest sympathy,
Your friends and bulldog family,
Mac & Mary MacNeal

o

Eileen,
This is a great loss to the American Bulldog community, but nothing compared to the feeling of loss you and your family must be going through right now. I know how much you loved that dog. I am thankful that I had a chance to meet him. You will be in my thoughts today.

o

Toro will be remembered for a long time, in all the great progeny he threw.

o

.........I do not claim to have known Toro or the owners, I do however know of the grief of such a loss first hand........time is the bandage that will cover the pain.........and joy will be seen again as you become more aware of what mark he has left, not only with the breed-----but in the lives of others as well..........
.......take care.........
.......Ralph Gaston.

o

Although I never had the privilege to see Toro in person, I always thought I would some day. Some of my friends in my AB club told me he was a totaly awesome dog to behold.
My deepest sympathy. John

o

I had a chance to see Toro working in Ohio at the Nationals, he was quite a dog. Our thoughts are with you.
God Bless

o

I enjoyed the AB Reviews where you featured Toro in your lessons and stories. I am saddened by your loss as he was such a beautiful bulldog ... and losses like this make me that much more grateful for my own and the time I still have with them...

o

the american bulldog has lost one of it's best producing studs the breed has ever seen hands down. our condnlences on your loss of such a fabulous animal.

I too am so sorry for your loss I remember the first AB show i went to in VA and they were playing "We are the Champions" and Toro was in the ring and i too this day remeber how Toro just went into his stance when that music started and i remeber saying to myself Just look at that dog he knows he is a champion and he preformed without having to be stacked Too this day i have never saw another dog do that He was truly a impressive boy Again my heart go out to you 
Re: I must be the one to announce this. Pray for me friends.
Posted by Tina on 8/2/2001, 10:43 am , in reply to "I must be the one to announce this. Pray for me friends."
62.243.61.164
My heart cries for you and your family in this sad situation.
Words just can express.
Re: I must be the one to announce this. Pray for me friends.

Dear Eileen,
I just read the news. I have empathy for you because I have been in the same unfortunate circumstance. Your spirits will rise with time and redirection.
I played the video tape you sent me 3 years ago and was impressed again how wonderful Toro was and the special relationship the two of you had. It brought a smile to me watching him leap into the pool over and over again excited for your throw.
What a great dog.
Take care,
Jeff Richman and Family

I am so very sorry about your loss you had one of the most beautiful american bulldogs out there..I know he will be missed greatly and know that one day you will be with him again and he is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. I feel your loss and know that he will be missed, and yes he did produce some fine offspring. Holly & Michael Smith and family
We are sorry for your loss.

o

The WABA has privately extended its sympathy and support. However, we would like to publicly announce our sorrow at the passing of Toro. He was a fine bulldog and an asset to this organization. He will be missed.

Our condolences to you and your family......"Gr.Ch.Toro Blanco",R.I.P.
He was a great dog and I am sure a very huge part of your family. I also dred the day when my Tyson's calling comes. I feel you Eileen
Henry

o

Eileen, This is the first time I've posted on this board, and probably the last. Eva and I would like to offer our condolences, and if we could help you suffer through this, we gladly would. It's never easy losing a friend. With what he's accomplished and the pups he's produced, in spirit, he will live on for a long, long time. Keep your chin up, and greive as long as you feel you must. Eva and I are here to help you in any way we can. Bob and Eva Emmell

o

k:
It's only been a little while since Shadow died. And I still see him moving in the corners when I leave or enter a room.
And today I thought I saw him lying down at the top of the cellar stairs as I came up from the basement, and I almost reached out to touch his nose, the way I always did once he couldn't manage the stairs. I smiled, despite myself.
And tonight I realized that his bed is still setting in the dining room corner, where we moved it once he had trouble getting up. I know I'll move it, when I'm ready.
And the little creaks and noises in the house sound just like him, moving around at night, nails tapping on wood floors as he guarded us.
And I know he never left. He's still with us, in our hearts and our minds.
And now when I think of him, which is every day, I remember him in life, playing, working, clowning around, knowing how to aggravate me and how to make me laugh. The pain is still there, deep inside, and it probably always will be.
But I have to marvel how, in such a little time, my memory of his life simply overwhelms the pain I feel at his loss.
The great ones do that. Grieve as you must, but laugh when you can, as you surely will, when Toro comes to you in a memory sweet and familiar. Sooner than you can now imagine.
John
 
 
 

E-MAILS

I am writing this e-mail to give you my condolences about Toro.  I'm really sorry and know the pain of your loss.  I don't have any answers, just don't fall into the same pattern I did when I lost Wilma.  It took me ten years to bond to another dog which of course turned out to be Chyna.
No dog will have toro's sparkle in his eyes, spring in a step, or work as well in your eyes.  I love you both, take sometime to figure out where to go from here,  stay strong, Love always,
                                             Gregory

I am writing this letter on behalf of myself and
Jimmy, as he has been too upset to collect his
thoughts enough to write to you himself.

Toro touched each of us in a special and unique way.
If it had not been for Toro's amazing character and
strength, I don't think Jimmy would be as dedicated to
learning about American Bulldogs as he is.  If it
hadn't been for his hard work and devotion, Toro might
have been just another dog to you.  And if it hadn't
been for the amazing relationship I saw between Toro
and you, I would never even have considered getting a
dog.

This is a tremendous loss for all of us, and I feel
absolutely horrible because I know there is very
little that I can do to help.  However, I can pray,
and although that may not seem like much, please know
that this prayer comes from so deep within my heart it
hurts.

Dear God,
Please care for Toro as the puppy he truly is.  Keep
him safe and happy so that when he and Eileen meet
again, it is as if not a day has passed.  Please look
after Eileen  in their time of immense need
and grief, and God, please give them the strength to
pull through this loss.  Please remind them always
that everyone they know is pulling for them too.  In
memory of Toro Blanco, Supreme Grand Champion, Amen.

Eileen, if there is ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to
help, PLEASE PLEASE tell us.  I know we aren't yet a
part of your bulldog family, but we feel like we are
and want to help in your time of need.

God Bless you and stay strong.

Love,
Karen and Jimmy

 eillen i have nothing to offer you and nothing to say  that would bring back toro or take your great loss away and make you as happy as your baby boy did. toro was an awsome dog, not only because of his accomplishments (and there were too many to list) but for his accomplishments at home with his dear momy  and her family.
 you guys loved him and he knew that , you cherrished him and he understood that, you guys cared dearly about him and he knew that as well.
 that's why he did evrything he did as he knew that it would please you and make you happy

 i don't have to tell you that he loved you and cherrished you and cared about you cause  no one knows that better than you. it brought tears to my eyes redaing your beautyfull poem about the boy and touched me deeply.

 eillen. i know how much he meant to you and it is a devistating loss, as i know how much you wanted a little girl from your little boy. i  want you to know that as i know that you wouldn't go back on your word, if you wish to keep this little precious girl you have there i would understand.
 if there is anything i can do to ease the pain please feel free to ask.

Phil
(Note...the pup that Phil is refering to here is our pup, Toro's Slick Nickel of Topline.  We will never forget his kindness and generosity in our time of need to give up his puppy so that we may have a female out of Toro for our own.  Phil Kanakis is one of the classiest people in the Bulldog world.  A special thank you to Phil)

So very sorry to hear about your loss.
 I wish I could think of something  to say to you
that might make you feel better about Toro.
I simply can't... when I read the info , I myself broke down and cried.
 Why?
I have never met Toro in person. I met you briefly at the New England show.
I just thought that he was the best looking AB and from what I heard, he WAS the best at everything! So I thought it was only logical to use his image on our New England Bulldog Bash Tshirt. I hope I did him justice for you Eileen. I read your poem and I realize that you and I feel the same way about our dogs as I'm sure  many other AB enthusiats out there.
 It seems that Toro was sort of a "touch stone" for many breeders and AB lovers alike. I'm sure you're proud of that...and I know that Toro loved you VERY,VERY much. And he proved it by all his motivation and eagerness to please you. He was obviously a VERY happy dog and could not have ended up in a better home. Heaven is where he can do everything he did with you but only with wings.... corny , I know.

 I have a friend who paints and I would love to have you send me a photo of him so I can have him immortilized for you on canvas...

Hang in there you guys and just know that I am thinking and prayng for you.

Take Care,
Lisa and Mike Quinn
 along with
 Joshua's Go Get Em' Gidget,
Joshua's Genuine Flyin' Elvis and Boston Beast's Skwewie Louie.

Jenny Cousino
Lester AB/Rott CGC b. 7/4/97 100# neut
Buck AB CGC, CD1, GDT, OFA Fair b. 6/20/97 85# neut
Harry AB CGC, GDT, AD, IDT5, PH .54, .52, OFA Prelim Fair b. 10/9/99 85#
Harley (foster) Pit Bull mix CGC  b. ?/?/96? 55# neut E-mail for info

Eileen,
I know that I don't know you well and never had the privledged opportunity to meet Toro, but I want you to know that I have great sympathy b/c I know how much you loved your boy and have been through this myself.  I can't express how sorry I am for you and your family, my heart goes out to you and yours, please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

                                                                    Strength & Prayers,
                                                                      Molly Hensler

Eileen,
I got half way to work this morning and had to come back home to write you this message.

Toro had a good life with you.  He was loved, cherished, and worshipped by most who knew him, most especially his mom.  He was the inspiration for most of us to work with our dogs, and gave us something to aspire to.  His majestic presence will be around for years to come, and is witnessed in his amazing children, and their children.  I have always felt honored to have had the chance to witness his abilities, and own one of his children.  He was, and will always be the Great Toro Blanco.

Know that you are in my constant thoughts.  You are my wonderful friend and my sorrow is with you.

Love,
Junellen

I was both shocked and saddened by the news of Toro's passing. I know how much love , dedication and work you put into Toro. It surely was A labor of love for the three of you. Toro's achievements and greatness will not soon be forgotten.
I feel so lucky to have been blessed with one of his pups and gotten involved with such good people.
So in A few hours me and my boy go to work and try to do what his dad did so well.
Thanks for everything.
Call me if you need anything.
Mike C.

I have Tryed to call you Guys for Like 2-3 Days !!
I CANT TELL YOU HOW BAD WE FEEL FOR YOUR GREAT
LOSS! IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS
TERRIBLE TIME EASYER ,PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!
I AM THERE FOR YOU  ,as a friend .......
GOD BLESS and Know you have a friend if you need one!!
Sincerely
Ralph and Jeanne
Citarella

Eileen, I just logged on and read of Toro's death. Believe me, it hurts as if he were mine. I know how much you loved Toro and it was obvious how much he loved you.  We can talk about the circumstances later. But for now let's remember Toro for the tremendous dog that he was and all of the good times you shared with him.  Our thoughts are with you, keep your chin up and know that you are in our thoughts and sympathies. Al and Lorraine

I am so sorry to hear about Toro.  It is a loss that will be felt by a whole community.  There are no words that can express the pain you are feeling and none that really make it feel any better.  Take comfort in knowing that he will be waiting for you and ALWAYS be with you, by your side forever.  You and Toro had made remarkable accomplishments together.  He was your partner, your baby, your best friend.  Of that you should be proud.

Take care of yourselves and remember him with pride and honor...

Its never easy to have any loved one plucked from your life.  There is no explanation to solve the mystery...It was his time to be with God for his purpose was fufilled on this earth.  I am not a religious person, but having lost endeared pets and both my parents, it is a thought I try to keep with me to ease the wondering of why.

Love and many tears for you,

Monique

Eileen, So sorry to hear of your loss. Toro was one that you will never
forget. One like him comes to you once in a lifetime. The hurt believe
me will ease with time but you will never forget him nor will you want
too.  Again so sorry for your loss and may God bless. Alan

I just got word that Toro passed away.  I couldn't be
more shocked!!!!!!  I can't put into words how sorry I
am to hear this.  Please know that our thoughts and
prayers are with you in your time of complete sorrow
and disbelief,
       Sincerely,  Beth Zeiner

I cannot say I can feel your pain, because I am not you. I cannot say
time will heal your wounds, because sometimes even the scars change
things, never to be completely whole again. I can say that you made me
stop and think and we all need that from time to time. Suddenly those
harsh words, failing a trial, a bad day at work, that overdue
bill.....they fail in comparison to what is important, life itself. It
is precious and can be taken away in a brief second. We are all guilty
of it and need to be reminded. I hugged my kids a little harder tonight.
I paid more attention to words that were said. I even stopped to smell
the flowers.
Your tribute to Toro was beautiful, you can "if" forever, please
remember the good times you shared together. You had many joys and happy
times.
 Just the other day I told Vern he would be the dog to beat at the AWDF
conformation show and knew it would be next to impossible. You could be
in awe, compete against, strive for, love, admire or just be plain
jealous. Toro touched everyone...and he will be missed. Our prayers are
with you. Rhonda

                        I just heard about Toro from Junellen and wanted you to know how sorry I was to hear the news. I know there is nothing anyone can say to ease the pain but just wanted to let you guys know you are in my thoughts. Toro was a beautiful, spirited dog. (This from a German Shepherd person)

I wanted to take a minute and let you know off the boards that Marvin and I are truly sorry for your loss of Toro.   Regardless of our differences of opinion on certain issues, we both really liked Toro and thought he was a great dog.    I could not believe it when I read on the boards that he had passed, and will admit that I cried for him and you.  I will always remember him jumping in my lap in Alabama and giving me that big old wet doggie kiss!   I have always loved dogs of his type and size and thought that was just great!

Everyone says that the pain gets easier with time, and I guess it does, but it will never be the same.    I was a cat person prior to owning bulldogs and just lost my "Buttons" a couple of weeks ago.  I have had her for over 10 years, and it still hurts.  It was a bad time for us as one of our female pups died that evening and the next morning I  found Buttons dead.   So I understand your loss completely.

Please remember that you all are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, and that Toro  will always be remembered as a great bulldog by everyone in the bulldog world.

I hope that the ache that I know is in your heart now will be replaced with some great, unexpected surprise that will bring you much joy in the future.  I know that nothing will ever replace Toro, I am just wishing you something that will ease your pain and bring you happiness once again as you hold the wonderful memories of Toro in your minds and hearts forever.

Take care and remember the bulldog world is praying for you!

Beverly Montgomery

Eileen,
I can not even imagine the pain that you  are
going through right now.  I was devestated when I
heard.  I have been trying to think of ways to ease
your suffering.  I know that nothing can ever replace
Toro, and that this puppy is not mine yet, but you can
have our pick if you want.  I have been anxiously
awaiting this puppy for a long time, but I know how
much you loved the Toro/Sha-Nuk litters and wanted one
for yourself.  Please let me and Karen know what your
decision is and what our plans should be for this
Sunday.  Also, the pictures of the puppies came out
great, we have a set of doubles for you.
Sincerely,

Jim and Karen

Hello again,
I can not say in words how sorry I am for your loss. I want you to know I have been crying for two days now.  I only met toro three times but that fact that he was so special just tears me apart.
Please know if I ever have a puppy you want he/she is yours (present two included).  If you ever want to see the girls bred to a certain dog let us know we will most certainly consider.  I know no puppy will ever replace toro in your hearts but maybe an offspring will help you relive him in your present lives.  Im sure I am not the only one offering this but I just wanted you to know.
love always,
Tracey and Che'

Eileen,
Though I only met you once and spoke to you briefly at the Ohio ABA National show
last year, my wife and I would like to express our deepest condolences.
We never had the pleasure of meeting your fantastic boy, but the pictures we saw
& stories we heard about him helped us decide on getting a Turbo son 2 years ago.

Toro's legend will live on, & rightfully so.
Our prayers are with you.

Murph & Cathy Saunders

I just heard the sad news about Toro.  Just wanted to let you know how sorry we feel. We know how much you loved him.  He was a great dog and he will be missed. I learned a lot from him!

Take care!

Ronny and Michele

Eileen,
I love you and I loved that dog of yours.  Only I know what you are truly feeling right now and I wish you could hear these words from my mouth as I say them.  The black and white of an e-mail cannot convey the pain that is inside of me at this time.  I cannot write through  the tears and I feel so much sorrow for you.  As it has just happened to you, it is as if it is happening with me again only the pain, sorrow and heart felt love I have is for you and Toro not for Mac.  He (Toro) was a special beast and in him there was no equal.  I will continue to call tomorrow until I can get through. Your line has been busy for quite a while.  I have 2 dogs to train at 6pm so I am running late but I will always make time for you, Eileen.

So much love and compassion,
Dave

Eileen,
I had no idea you lost Toro, What can I say, he was one of the very few Am Bulls I have ever seen that was truly a working dog. He was a fine example of the breed. Best Wishes, it was nice seeing you in Taunton.
Doug Loving

Eileen and Family...

I have sat here , read the board and am in tears...as I
know you have been, and will be ... my words are most sincere...I know in my
Heart that your Toro was beyond a shadow of a doubt the FINEST AMERICAN BULLDOG
that has lived on this earth! From day one, I thought that and will never change
my mind.
Know that my heart and tears are for
you....

Cindy, Webster, Grits and Scarlett O'
Terror.

We will keep Toro in our prayers, along with your
Family

I dont know what to do for you.  I called Tom and said I would post something on the board from all of us.  But I dont know what to say.  No one knows how you feel better than us and especially me.  I am not sure if I should just tell you that or post it or what.  I feel terrible for you.  I've tried to call you several times, your line is busy and no one answers the cell phone (or I have the numbers mixed up) but either way, I cant get you.  I wish I could make this better.  I wish I could make you not feel so bad, I wish I could fix it.  I dont have to see you to know what is happening with you and I am powerless to do anything about it.

Forget about all the dog stuff for now.  You are much more than just a dog person.  Although I havent lost my dog, I have lost my dog life (I dont know how to explain this, but picture my hands moving).  I cant train them, I havent done anything with them and they're getting old.  Anyway, my point is, I have had to focus on other things.  Not what I wanted to do, but it has been a catharsis.  Painful, but a learning experience.  We are so much more than dog people.  Spend some time crying, sleeping, thinking and dreaming.  This road that you have so carefully planned came to an abrupt end, but there are other roads on all sides.   Take your time and look around.  You dont have to make any decisions right now, just grieve and mourn.  Take a deep breath and just sit and think, relive everything you have been through the last 4 years.  Sort things out, the good and the bad.  This would definitely rank among the bad, but there has been much good as well.  Toro was a gateway to a whole new Eileen.  He gave you confidence, experience, friendship and took you places you never would have gone and I dont just mean in the dog world.  Even though your heart is broken, you are still a whole person, even without him, and even though it doesnt feel like it.

I feel so sad for you.  Words cant express it and I truly hate emails, even with smileys they dont convey my thoughts.      I do know how you feel.    I remember 5 (my God, 5?) years ago.      I know what he meant to you, more than anyone else in the world possibly could.    I know what he meant.    I know.

Sharon

Eileen, I tried to call and got the message. I cannot tell you how sorry both Bobby and I are for both of you. Your relationship with Toro was the reason we wanted you to train General for us. I am sure it will be a long time if ever, that I get to see such love between a woman and her dog. You both were and still are an inspiration for both of us. Take care of each other, and know in your heart that at least for a short time you had the best. Love, Becky and Bobby

  You both know that Toro's passing has been heartfelt by many.  I'm sure you must know that the bulldog community is always there to help you deal with your pain.  There are alot of shoulders out there :)

Love,
Dawn*

Folks,
I don't know you and probably never will but please know this...my heart broke as I read your post and I sobbed out of pure compassion for your entire family.  I have my first AB who will soon be a yr. old and I've never loved any animal as I do this one.  I'm not a young person and have had "many" dogs in my lifetime.  She's never won a title or done anything great according to many but..she has given my husband and I pure pleasure and so much enjoyment.  We fully believe that your "baby boy" is romping thru the Lord's Kingdom and quite possibly, laying at His feet.  I will keep you all in my prayers.  Only He can take your pain at this time.  Linda

 We just read about Toro and wanted to let you know personally how very
sorry we are for you.  We know the loss you feel, having gone through it
ourselves with our Tank.  We know these words are of little comfort at the
moment, but hope they will help you as time does its healing.  It is an
honor to Toro to have such an outpouring of sympathy from virtually every
bulldogger in the country on the board.

 We will be praying for  you.  God bless you both!

 Our love,

 Bob & Paulette Dodgion

I just read your post on the board...Thanking the many
folks for their thoughts and prayers...well, I just wanted to include these
thoughts and also my prayers for you ...I know this is such a
difficut time...Life is so difficult, and
now you must face this time together...but know that 'together' you can make it
thru' this...I KNOW for a fact...I've been there, with my 'protector' (she's on
my webpage...my Great Dane) She was 'my ears'...and let me tell you...not a day
goes by that I don't miss her! I love my babies that are here with me now, and
God knows that I also miss my 'Sandor'...she saved my life , not once but
twice.  There will never be another dog that can replace her, she is always
with me...and I will never forget her...as you will keep Toro with you ... he
will ALWAYS be your 'inspiration'.

You two have contributed so much to the American Bulldog
world...I for one am happy to have met you Eileen, and goodness knows
, to me, Toro was the ultimate AB! I hope to see you in the ring again...in
time.

Take your time, mourn your baby Toro...just remember
this...he is in your hearts. What better place for him to be...besides with
God!

Toro is now up there playing with my Sandor...and one
day, we will both see our puppies again!

My thoughts, prayers and heart is with you both,
Cindy

 I just want you to know that Chris and I are thinking
about you. I know how much Toro meant to you both and I hope in time
you'll be able to think about him without tears and just remember the
fun you had with him and how much fuller your lives were than they would
have been if you'd never had him. He'll always be remembered by the
Bulldog community as an outstanding example of what a REAL Bulldog
should be. Hang in there and I hope we get to see you both when times
are happier. Love, Grace

Subj: toro.....
Date: 8/3/01 5:42:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Azlan58
To: BulldogMa
 
 

I am just writing to let you know i am very sorry to hear that you lost your baby, I know how tough it is and  how unfair it can seem, i lost azlan this year 2 weeks shy of his eighth birthday, although it seems very hard now, it is a comfort to know he went out on the top of his game...  below is some conversation that was exchanged between a friend of mine who lost a dog the day after i lost my azlan.

>       Some of the most poignant moments I spend as a
>  veterinarian are those spent with my clients assisting the
>  transition of my animal patients from this world to the
>  next.    When living becomes a burden, whether from pain or
>  loss of normal functions, I can help a family by ensuring
>  that their beloved pet has an easy passing.  Making this
>  final decision is painful, and I have often felt powerless
>  to comfort the grieving owners.
>       That was before I met Shane.
>       I had been called to examine a ten-year-old blue heeler
>  named Belker who had developed a serious health problem.
>  The dog's owners - Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little
>  boy, Shane - were all very attached to Belker and they were
>  hoping for a miracle.    I examined Belker and found he was
>  dying of cancer.
>       I told the family there were no miracles left for
>  Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for
>  the old dog in their home.  As we made arrangements, Ron and
>  Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-
>  year-old Shane to observe the procedure.  They felt Shane
>  could learn something from the experience.
>       The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as
>  Belker's family surrounded him.  Shane seemed so calm,
>  petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he
>  understood what was going on.
>       Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
>  The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without
>  any difficulty or confusion.  We sat together for a while
>  after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact
>  that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
>       Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I
>  know why."
>       Startled, we all turned to him.  What came out of his
>  mouth next stunned me - I'd never heard a more comforting
>  explanation.
>       He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how
>  to live a good life - like loving everybody and being nice,
>  right?"  The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already
>  know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
>
>         By Robin Downing, D.V.M.
>    from Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul
>  Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Marty
>  Becker and Carol Kline
>
i cant wait to see the next dog you raise that takes  toros job, he/she will be nothing short of spectacular, i can gaurantee it...
ryan sherry.

Dear Eileen,

We have met...back in , (If I'm correct)...1997(?) at a
show that Lem Miller had put on....on Ocala...that is when I decided I wanted to
show my male (Webster)...all because of Toro! And YOU! You both inspired me to
go farther with Webster.
Eileen, the best advise I can give you ....cry,
cry until you can't cry anymore...then, cry some more! Toro was your child...you
will mourn him for as long as you live! It will become 'deeper' in your
heart....but he will always be with you....
You don't have to reply to my emails...(if you'd like to
just say...'we're here'...I'll understand...) but I'm going to check in on you
all now and then...just to make certain you know that  I'm concerned, and
am here if you need a chat!

take care, hugs for you all...

cindy

Eileen, it's Kathleen & Andrew - I just read the AB board and I am SO very, very sorry to read about Toro :o(   I know how much you loved him and I know just how heartbreaking it is to lose your best friend ( I still cry over Ty, often - 2 years later). Toro was a very lucky dog to have shared his life with 2 people who loved him so much and you  were  very lucky people to have had the privledge to own such a beautiful dog who would do anything for his Mom & Dad.  Again, I am SO sorry for your tremendous lose .........
 Love, kath & Andrew

Posted by Yami on 8/1/2001, 3:42 pm
205.158.179.30

My bulldog passed away, no more to breathe a sound. I held him for the last time, then entombed him in the ground. Day and night I wept so much, in tears I thought I'd drown. I searched my soul for comfort, but no peace therein was found.
In great despair, I hit my knees and then began to pray. "Father, will I ever see my dog again someday?" I raised my eyes and saw an angel standing near a gate. I sensed an inner peace I'd never felt before that day.
The angel smiled and said to me, "Oh man of little faith! God sees every bird that falls, He knows your bulldogs fate. I have met your little dog, I saw him pass my way. Your precious dog is still alive, he just walked through this gate.

"Paradise is lovelier than you can comprehend. No pain or grief, no tears or fears, and life will have no end. God gave to man His only Son, to cover all his sins, so why would God withhold you from your pure and loving friend?"

The angel took me by the hand and said, "Now come with me, a glimpse of paradise I'll give to you so you can see." Through the gate and o'er the Rainbow Bridge we did proceed, through green valleys filled with flowers, rolling hills and trees.

"Wow, so this is paradise!!" The place was filled with joy. I saw my bulldog playing there with dogs and cats and toys. He also had some doggie treats, and food that he enjoyed. He'd made a lot of new friends there, including girls and boys.

Then I saw a child come near and hug my little mate. She said to him, "I love you so..." and kissed him on the face. The angel said, "The child just crossed the Rainbow Bridge today. Now she needs a little friend to love and help her play."

God's love for her would be enough, in that make no mistake, but in His love He knew full well the child would want a mate. This is why God called your dog unto this splendid place. God's entrusted her with him until you pass through the gate.

I pleaded, "May I hug them both?" The angel answered, "No! you'd violate a sacred site, and now it's time to go." He led me back across the bridge and through the gate to home. He left me there with new-found hope and peace within my soul.

If someone ever asks what happens to a dog that dies, just give a gentle smile of joy and look them in the eye. Take their hand and comfort them and tell them not to cry. For dogs don't die, they simpy cross a bridge to paradise.

Author Dan Atcheson
**This poem brought a smile to my face when I read it. I lost my AB (Snoopy) about 1 year ago.... and till this day, there is not one day that goes by that I don't think about him. As long as he is in your heart, he will live forever.
Kindest Regards,